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Here's a draft:
---
# FUCK YOU PUBLIC LICENSE (FYPL)
### Version 1.0
**Copyright © [YEAR] [YOUR NAME]. All rights reserved, not that you deserve them.**
---
## TERMS AND CONDITIONS
**0. Definitions.**
"The Software" means this code, which you didn't write.
"You" means whoever is reading this, and yes, this means you specifically.
**1. Grant of Rights.**
You are hereby granted exactly zero rights. Fuck you.
**2. Permitted Uses.**
You may use this software for any purpose, provided that purpose is not stupid. Whether your purpose is stupid is determined solely by the author, retroactively, at any time, for any reason, including vibes.
**3. Redistribution.**
You may redistribute this software provided you:
- Include this license in full, so others may also be told to fuck off.
- Do not pretend you wrote it. You did not write it.
- Send the original author a thank-you note. Not required. But seriously, would it kill you?
**4. Attribution.**
Credit is required. You know what you did.
**5. Warranty.**
THIS SOFTWARE IS PROVIDED "AS IS," WHICH IS MORE THAN YOU DESERVE. THE AUTHOR MAKES NO WARRANTIES, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NOT CORRUPTING YOUR ENTIRE DATABASE ON A FRIDAY AFTERNOON. USE AT YOUR OWN RISK. THE AUTHOR WILL NOT BE HELD LIABLE FOR ANYTHING. EVER. GOODBYE.
**6. Contributions.**
Pull requests are welcome. They will be ignored.
---
*By using this software, you agree to these terms and acknowledge that you owe the author, spiritually, one (1) beer.*
---
Want me to adjust the tone — more absurdist, more legally-flavored, or add specific clauses?